By Mark A. Cobb
Sports analogies are a common technique to explain situations. We hear them frequently when an attorney “makes a home run” for a client or when discussing litigation tactics that “we need to have a vigilant defense” or that the path to a legal victory can be “a marathon–not a sprint.” This summer, a week at a tennis camp gave me inspiration for the many benefits of mediation and arbitration to solve all types of legal problems. From professionalism, comprehensive approach, teamwork, flexibility, inclusiveness to common goals and skill improvement I found some profound analogies why people should consider alternative dispute resolution and how the participant’s actions can make the mediation or the arbitration more meaningful.
Our entire family is interested in tennis. I try to play two or three times a week, and my wife and children are on competitive teams. My wife and I started a middle school tennis team at our children’s school this past year. Thus, when we heard about the Mouratoglou Tennis Academy in Biot, France we were intrigued. The tennis academy is a very serious program dedicated to coaching tennis professionals. Serena Williams, Coco Gauff, and Stefanos Tsitsipas are just some of the most famous tennis professionals the Academy has helped.
During the summer, the Mouratoglou Tennis Academy offers camps for children and adults so our family of four decided it was something we could do together. What a wonderful way to spend a summer vacation together!
Pro Tip to Avoid Legal Problems: With proper planning and open discussion with the parties involved, anything can be planned to make it a positive experience. All four members of our family discussed the summer, where we wanted to go, the tennis camp, and other essential components. We were all excited about traveling to France to attend the Academy. In order to make this “worth the effort”, we all agreed to do our best at the tennis camp and make it a meaningful experience. When a family or business seeks consensus and everyone agrees to fully invest in the plan, situations which might lead to serious problems can be avoided.
We did not know what to expect during the camp. We did not know whether our skill levels would be sufficient for the demands of a rigorous camp or how our time would be spent at camp each day. We did not know what type of people would attend the same camp or even the details of the program or the instruction. We just trusted the reputation and the experience of the Mouratoglou Tennis Academy.
Pro Tip (Make Sure you Find an Experienced Arbitrator or Mediator): When you have a legal problem, look for an experienced, highly regarded arbitrator or mediator. Even though you may not know what to expect from the process, they will do their best to make it a positive experience and amicably resolve your legal problems economically, creatively, and professionally. Do not look for the second best; instead, go with the best neutral you can find.
On opening day of camp, our family of four arrived ready to play tennis. After a brief orientation, we were each sent to separate groups. Each of us had extremely wonderful experiences at the camp. At first, I was put into a larger group of adult tennis players, and we started with stretching exercises. There was also discussion about our mind-set, fatigue, and the importance of focus needed for playing the sport.
Pro Tip (Prepare for Mediation or Arbitration): Prior to attending a mediation or arbitration, you need to prepare. Be ready to discuss your wants and your needs; have an understanding of the impact your problems are having in your life, your business, your family. Take the time to understand the seriousness of the mediation or arbitration process. Then, let the professionals guide you through the process.
After the stretching exercises, we played a lot of tennis, and we performed a lot of endurance exercises (not my favorite part!) For the tennis, each large group was broken down into very intensive, smaller groups of 3 to 5 players with at least one coach. My first day, I was placed with a group that included a gentleman from Lebanon, a gentlemen from Italy, and a lady from Brazil.
On the second day, the coaches tweaked the smaller groups and moved a few people around. Although I missed two of my first-day teammates, the gentleman from Lebanon and I found ourselves with a lady from Hong Kong, and a lady from Paris. We four asked ourselves, “We were not as good as we thought?”, “Were we better than we thought!?”, and “Why were the teams re-arranged?”. I even thought, “This new team selection could not possible be as good as my first group.” Boy, was I wrong! The coaches saw something which we could not see, and they found perfect “fit” for every camper.
Pro Tip (Mediators May See a Better Path to Resolution): Mediators may move parties into different rooms. The neutral may ask to speak to a party’s attorney alone. They may bring some people in and ask other to leave. This is done intentionally to bring to find the root of the legal problem, to create trust, and to bring the parties into consensus. Trust your experienced mediator.
The larger group included people from virtually everywhere–Saudi Arabia, Australia, Germany, Spain, Turkey, Italy, Brazil, Ukraine, Japan. From my children’s perspective, they now have friends from Russia, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Latin American, and New England. The tennis camp was a United Nations of tennis players. More importantly, everyone was very nice, and everyone–without exception–came to improve their tennis game. Regardless of their experience, every tennis player has strengths, and every tennis player has weaknesses. Despite this, everyone that I encountered was supportive of the others despite our technical or physical limitations. Every camper had shared a common goal and demonstrated the most positive attitude to help themselves and those around them to succeed.
Pro Tip (Diversity of Opinions Can Benefit Mediation): In mediation and arbitrations, there is frequently diversity. It can be a diversity of origins, but it can also be a diversity of abilities, resources, and differing values. A good mediator will help establish the common goal and encourage a positive, creative, and problem-solving attitude to accomplish the tasks set before him or her.
Tennis camp was quite a time both physically and emotionally. Everyone was a stranger on Monday morning. I imagine that we all wanted to “impress” the new players in our lives; however, we quickly realized that we had to be willing to put our weaknesses on display if we really wanted guidance from our the coach. And, it wasn’t just the coaches who helped us, my teammates also offered constructive help, support, and consolation.
Pro Tip (Participants in Mediation Should Show this Weaknesses if they Want to Improve): Be willing to share your weaknesses, and be open to listening and learning throughout the process. Be alert to the mediator’s role and ideas; however, do not forget that the other participants involved in an alternative dispute resolution proceedings may also bring problem-solving, creative solutions. Listen!
My fellow teammates were nothing short of amazing. In such a short time, we learned a lot about each others’ tennis abilities, but it quickly expanded beyond that. We learned about each others’ families, interests, and hometowns. All four of us had another family member attending the academy as well (in different groups). We learned about each others religious beliefs, divorces, and children. We shared meals, drinks, photographs. We laughed. We appreciated each other so much in that moment. I’m happy to report that we have stayed in touch. We learned a lot about tennis, but we really learned more about ourselves and the people who inhabit this world beside us.
Pro Tip (Mediation Can Do More that Solve a Legal Problem): Mediation is a lot more than just figuring out who is to blame for something. Mediation should be about learning about ourselves. It should be about bringing understanding. It can be about an apology, or a change in policy, or a reconciliation.
So far, I haven’t really mentioned the coaches at the Tennis Academy. But, there are applicable analogies here too. First, they are seasoned tennis professionals; similarly, experience counts when looking for an arbitrator or mediator. Second, the coaches are tennis players, but more importantly, they know how to teach other and how to coax improvements out of adults who have already received years of training. Experienced mediators have a talent for discovering the root of many problems and bringing the parties into consensus.
It is remarkable, too, that every coach at Mouratoglou speaks two, three, or more languages. Needless to say, their abilities to communicate well with others is extraordinary. And, they desire to help each player to become better. In order to make ADR effective, it is imperative that your third-party neutral be a good communicator (and a good listener).
Pro Tip (Choose Mediators who are Knowledgeable and Communicate Well): Look for a mediator or an arbitrator who is (i) professional, (ii) can communicate effectively, (iii) is knowledgeable in their field, (iv) a creative problem-solver, and (v) cares about the well-being of the participants and the long-term outcome of the mediation or arbitration.
My eleven-year old son recently shared something that his coach (apparently) said often which also applies to the mediation and arbitration process. “You can’t be standing around here looking like S#!*, you are here to play tennis!” Although I may not like the colorful language, the impact is very meaningful. Parties in an alternative dispute situation such as mediation or arbitration need to be active participants. They bring valuable information to the process, but their decisions, their actions, their words, and their long-term commitment to the resolution process are a significant component to bringing amicable resolution.
Pro Tip (Solving Problems Requires Work): Participate in developing your own resolution to your legal problem.
Some of the courts are outside and other courts are covered; one morning it rained. In just a few minutes, the tennis coaches were able to consolidate the smalls groups into 6 to 8 people and adapt their teaching method to accommodate for “new” players. We managed to have fun, continue to learn, and, most importantly, to improve our game.
Pro Tip: Mediators and Arbitrators may have a few unexpected surprises throughout the process, but experienced, dedicated third-party neutrals can quickly adapt and use these surprises to the best of everyone’s advantage.
I would be remiss if I didn’t share a little excitement from the camp. While we were there we saw several sport celebrities including NBA Player and 8 time All-Star player, Steve Nash, Norwegian footballer Erling Haaland, the Tennis academy founder and tennis coach to the states, Patrick Mouratoglou, and professional boxer Mike Tyson. (Yes, my son has a photo with Mike Tyson!) It was thrilling to see such amazing athletes; however, as much fun as that was, that’s not my first memory. It’s not even my second memory. Instead, I am in awe of the people and the process involved in the camp. The academy was amazing. The coaches were amazing. The other campers were amazing. And my personal team of four were the most amazing of all.
Pro Tip (Resolving a Situation is the Most Important Part of Mediation): Mediation and Arbitration is not about the “highs” or the “lows” that may occur during the process; instead, it is about the building of a long-term solution and improving your business or your life.
As a coda to this summer tale, my son found a classmate who lives in the United States, but he lives many states away (about a 25 fine hour drive to give this perspective). Last week, we found ourselves within 8 miles of each other. The boys got together about 5 times in 7 days, they played tennis, they exchanged racquets, and we parents got to know one another better. It was another serendipitous moment that shows two boys who met at a tennis camp in France can reunite and pick-up exactly where they left it. Rumor is, they have future plans to meet too.
Pro Tip (Alternative Dispute Resolution Can Change your Life): If you let it, mediation can be a transformative event. It can help solve problems…which is a priority. On the best days, mediation can bring about permanent, positive changes and new way to approach the future.
If you have any legal needs from complex business transactions, construction disputes, a lawsuit, or domestic problems or custody issues, please consider the advantages of using a mediator (or arbitrator) to help you. The third-party neutrals at the Georgia Center for Arbitration and Mediation are ready to lend their expertise, their problem-solving skills, and their knowledge to assist you. We can help from either of our two offices in Georgia, we can travel to you, or we can conduct mediation and arbitration virtually online. Please contact us today to see if we can help you.